The Conversation We Always Have When We Go Out

"Are they twins?"

"Yes."

"Both girls?"

"Uh-huh."

"Are they identical?"

"No, we have one blonde and one brunette,"

"Oh, wow! They don't look alike at all, do they?"

No, they don't. Aside from both being girls and sharing the same birthday they are as different as two babies can be. Different skin tone, hair color, physical build, facial structure-- they both have blue eyes but they're different blues. Bean One has dark, dark blue eyes while Two's eyes are more of a slate gray-blue. They're both incredibly beautiful in their own ways but they could have come from two different families. And strangers LOVE to compare and contrast them.

"Oh, wow, she smiles more. She's going to be the rock star and this one's going to be the scientist!"

Sigh. Little does this person know, the smiling future rock star Bean (who, I have to say, is usually more reserved- read: grumpier- than her sister) happened to have slept much more that day while her sister was awake all day, teething and in pain, yet she still manages a little smile for the stranger who is so mercilessly judging her as taciturn.

I bristle at this. Every time. My hackles go up and I resist the urge to bare my teeth and snarl. What should I do? Do I explain this entire situation of teething and sleep deprivation? Do I tell this person to quit being an inconsiderate prick? Do I tell him about how much I hate it when people pigeonhole my kids? Do I go off on a rant about how, if people would quit judging others based on a moment in time, the world might be a better place? No, I don't.

"We'll see. Everybody's gotta be something," with a smile, thinking that if I were to sum up this guy's character by just this moment, I'd come away thinking he was a monumental asshole. Just smile. Always smile. And walk on. Because the Beans will get this all throughout their lives. And the better I am at dealing with it now, the better I'll be able to teach them to do the same. I don't need to listen to the judgments of strangers and neither do my kids, who can be whatever they want to be! There are so many things that I'm going to HAVE to make my kids do: school, vegetables, chores, blahblahblah. But the one thing I must absolutely ensure is that when someone speaks to them in such a way, I expect nothing other than for them to politely respond with a resounding "UP YOURS!!!"

And, of course, they'll also have to keep the Craps to a minimum. :)