A Little Help From My Friend

Saturday Morning, Bright and Early

Hubby: Ugh! This kitchen is a mess!

Me: Mm-hm.

Hubby: I don't think it's ever been this messy! It's just gross!

Me: Yep. I know.

Hubby: And it isn't just the kitchen-- it's the whole house. The carpets... everything!

Me (paused in mid-baba preparation, glowering at Hubby): I know. I live here. Every day.

Hubby (smirking): You know what you need to do?

Me (still glowering at Hubby, telepathically IMing him, "What, Asshat? What is it I need to do? Please, tell me so I can fix my life!"): What?

Hubby (smirking harder): You need to figure out how to clean the kitchen, do all the cooking, the laundry---

Me: Hahahahaha--

Hubby (continuing): All the vacuuming, taking care of the Beans--

Me (continuing): Hahahahahahaha--

Hubby (continuing): All by yourself.

Me (catching my breath): Yes. You're right. That's exactly what I need to do.

Hubby kisses me farewell and heads out the door for a two-hour-plus bike ride. I feed, change and dress the Beans, get them into the stroller, walk downtown to the farmer's market, stopping at an ATM on the way, procure fresh produce to feed the family for the week, and treat myself for the first time in years, to three bunches of the most exquisite sweet peas imaginable.

The Beans and I trek home. They're becoming restless in the stroller and are on the cusp of a nap-deprived, hair-pulling Armageddon when we hear the tick-tick-tick of Daddy's bike behind us. He's arrived home at the same time we have! We bring in the Beans, the veggies and the flowers and put everything and everyone where they belong and I lament the lack of clean space to display the pretty flowers, settling for a teensy little clear patch of dining-room table. The Beans and I have lots of fun sniffing them. We go in really close and I start with the sniffle-sniffle-sniffle sounds and they do likewise, dissolving into giggles when the velvety petals touch their comparably soft little faces. Adorable.

We spend the day doing all of our running around, eating and so forth and by the end of the day, the house is still a wreck. Sigh.

Early the following afternoon (today), Mimzi came over and I scooted out to do some errands, meeting a friend for coffee. I was gone for about two hours. And what did I find when I returned home?

Vaccuumed and scrubbed floors. Clean laundry--washed and dried. A spotless kitchen. Beans delishing on yogurt and organic lentil-vegetable dinner. And there, smack in the middle of the almost-clear dining room table stood my lovely sweet peas, an aromatically resplendent vision of pink and lavender.

The cleaning fairies visited my house today.

I hope someday when Hubby's out they'll come and clean the house so I can get the credit. In the meantime I will hand it to Hubby-- he sure knows how to make a bunch of flowers look even better.