Puke Pies

There's a lovely garden in the back yard that blooms in the Spring with Calla lilies, roses and daffodils, a cherry tree and two orange trees whose blossoms are pleasing not only to the eye but also to the ol' sniffer. Walking out to Hubby's office is a fragrant treat during those early days of Spring (until I arrive and step inside to discover things... not as fresh if you get what I mean).

Anyway, as is the case with any garden all those pretty flowers have to grow in something (dirt) and when it rains petals fall from everywhere and mix with the rain and dirt and make super-gross mudpaste. Mud always reminds me of the photo my mom has tucked away somewhere of my brother and me making mud pies at the bottom of the rusty slide that used to live in the back yard at their house. But a few days ago something new happened that reminds me of mud pies-- or rather a tweaking of the traditional mud pies to suit the needs of a new generation.

With all the dirt and mud and concrete in the back yard and with the Beans still unsteady on their little feet I generally don't bring them outside together at the same time by myself so most of their days are spent indoors. Not only do I worry they'll fall on an upended brick or other bit of hazardous something, there's also the issue of the time required to remove mud stains from little pants and socks and shoes. At this point I really don't like the idea of making more work for myself but of course I do feel badly becasue sometimes I feel like I'm denying them a big childhood joy but then I remember that they just learned how to walk and Pipsi hates grass anyhow. But all that nonsense aside, never fear! They don't want for space to play and they're incredibly creative. For example, I was in the kitchen doing dishes (yay for me!) the other day and the Beans were in their bedroom and the hallway playing in their own kitchen. We keep the door to their room open and they have the run of that and the hallway and they prefer it to being stuck in the Playground because at least they can see the real kitchen from the hall and can come over and say hi or complain or throw stuff over onto the other side and scream until someone (Mommy) comes over and gets it for them and by the way, wouldn't I mind picking them up while I'm at it and reading them a story please?

But as usual I digress. Finished with the dishes, I turned off the water and heard... nothing. I waited a second then heard a wet "slap, slap, slap" and Pipsi giggling. Then quick little footsteps and Parki appeared at the gate. And another wet "slap, slap, slap" followed by giggles from the hallway. Pipsi was up to something which had her very pleased with herself, and Parki wanted nothing to do with it. This was not going to be good. I quickly dried my hands and trotted over to the gate to see what was going on.

"What are you doing Pippers?"

Pipsi looked up at me, beaming with delight.

"Ngyuh! Ngyuh! Ngyuh!" Pipsi shouted, and she turned her blue gaze back down to the floor in front of her. As I stepped over the gate I took in with big, round eyes, the sight of my little blonde-haired beauty sitting on the laminate-floored hallway raising her hands high over her head and bringing them down fast and hard with a loud goopy splat right into a puddle of grossness that was unmistakably puke. She proceeded to gleefully smear it all over the floor before her like it was a big fingerpainting masterpiece, then she rose back into a sitting position, examining her hands with a big, open-mouthed-tongue-lolling smile and, looking back up at me, wiped those slick, slippery, squicky hands all over her shirt and pants.

Awesome. Puke Pies!

You know how mystifying it feels to spill a small glass of whatever onto the counter and even though it was only an ounce or two it just goes everywhere? It sloshes off the counter and drips down the cabinets and puddles on the floor where, if someone (Hubby, Biscuit) isn't paying attention he steps in it and tracks it all over the kitchen before he realizes you're talking to him and he has it on his shoe and he needs to stop for a second and wipe it off because it was just a little liquid in a glass that's now suddenly all over the kitchen?!?!? Well, just in case you didn't know, Beanpuke works that way too.

I no longer worry that they're missing out not getting to go outside and mess around out there because they get to experience pretty much everything in here that they'd get out there-- all the same toys, the animals (Katie), the bugs, and the mud pies without the melanoma risk. By next Spring they'll have outgrown the "early walking" stage and will be fully able to enjoy the outdoors with a significantly lower risk of Howling Fantods from Mommy. Until then they'll obviously be happy making do with substitutions. Splat splat splat!